Not What I Needed To Hear Right Now.

I was excited because a change in my employment meant I could actually afford health insurance through my employer. To enroll or make changes to health insurance, you have to have an employment change (promotion, etc), life event, or wait for open enrollment. My employment change meant I could sign up. So I did. Even received my prescription card in the mail last week.

I very much looked forward to having good insurance again. I was excited to make a change in the birth control I take, since mine makes me The Crazy Emo for one week per month. I was looking forward to changing my ADD meds and trying cognitive behavior therapy. I was looking forward to visiting my allergist to restart allergy control meds and get new prescriptions for an inhaler and epi-pen. Most of all, I was looking forward to being able to afford to go to the doctor when I'm sick, or say, when I have a self-diagnosed broken foot.

Too soon, kittlekat.

I was contacted today by Benefits. I can enroll in health insurance, but it'll be back dated. That's the only way. I had 60 days to make a change, but regardless of when you sign up, it gets back dated to the event that allowed for the change. That means I'll owe a ridiculous amount of money to enroll. That's on top of the cash already spent on the minuscule (but not cheap) individual insurance I purchase so I don't go bankrupt in case I ever need to be hospitalized. Even if I could scrape up the funds, I can't justify spending 2-months worth of rent on insurance that I never had the ability to use. I just don't have that type of leeway in my budget. So I have to wait for open enrollment...in July.

Every bone in my body wants to scream, "JUST MY LUCK!" However, I will refrain. Instead, I shall look on the bright side: At least they're letting me unenroll instead of taking all of that money out of my upcoming paychecks.

Besides, it serves me right for looking forward to something. I should've known better. Duh!

I kind of want to cry, but I don't have any stress to spare because this paper of mine is due tomorrow. Talk about bad timing.

"Cause you can't feel my anger
you can't feel my pain
you can't feel my torment
driving me insane
I can't fight these feelings
they will bring you pain
you can't take away
make me whole again"
-Staind